Courage, healing, and maintaining your sanity when others don’t understand
Y’all have heard me say this phrase a lot - have the courage to be honest with yourself. When we’re honest with ourselves, then we correctly identify what the issue is. And if we know what the issue is, then we can find supportive tools that actually work and we’ll feel better. Yay!
Now another thing comes to mind when we think about this - the courage to be different. Like different different. I’m talking about:
You’re the only one in your friend group who sticks to their budget, and they’re mad you can’t go to brunch every week
You’re the only one in your workplace that doesn’t gossip, and you’re worried they’ll think you’re less social
You’re the only one in your family who has a life coach/therapist, and they’re confused why you’re now ‘causing’ problems
You’re the only one in your religious community speaking against injustice, and you’re frustrated by their spiritual bypassing
I’m sure you can think of a few more instances where you’re different, doing the thing, and there’s so much fear attached to it. It can be a hard, lonely place. I have been there, I am there, and there’s a chance that as I keep healing and creating a healthy lifestyle, I’ll continue to be there.
It kinda comes with the territory, but there are things we can do about it!
*take a deep breath*
Healing, health, and doing the right thing isn’t cool
While it may be trendy now to talk about things that were once taboo, it’s still not the norm, especially in our communities of color. And to make it worse, lots of people trending about those things are just doing it for show! We laugh together at community events, we hide our family problems, and continue the facade that everything’s fine. What’s cool is maintaining the status quo, suppressing our emotions, and taking the passive approach. What’s not cool is changing your mindset and lifestyle to be healthier. So I applaud you for taking the harder and healthier route!
Knowing that this will be ‘uncool’ is helpful so that you set your mindset and expectations.
Show grace, but keep it moving
There was a time before you started this roller coaster ride called healing. It was probably a more comfortable time, filled with performative smiles, hidden anxiety, and internal anger. It was easy on the outside, and that was enough to get you by for awhile.
So when someone acts confused about the healing path you’re on, think about where they’re at. You were there too, maybe not too long ago. Show grace, knowing that starting the healing journey is hard. Show empathy, knowing that making big changes is scary. Show understanding, knowing that cultural values are strong and their ‘family over everything’ motto is actually pretty toxic.
You can show grace, empathy, and understanding…and keep moving forward. Don’t stop for them!
Remember your why
This is key y’all. In the hardest moments, this is what will help you push through. When they get angry, jealous, or spiteful, you’ll go back to your why:
Why am I doing this?
Why do I think healing is worth it?
Why do I think I’m worth it?
Why?
For hope and freedom. For the ability to smile authentically in the mirror. For the joy of discovering a fulfilling hobby. For the peace of genuine, healthy relationships. For you, and all that comes with, in, and through you.
Put it on your mirror, desktop background, or do something to remind yourself of your why. Always!
The journey isn’t easy my friend, but I can promise you it’s worth it. You’ll learn how to be your biggest cheerleader, motivation, and coach. When you need to stay motivated, you’ll find your favorite upbeat playlist and get it done! When you need to cry it out, you’ll find your journal and let the healing tears flow.
Your healed self is excited to meet you with open arms and a hug. Remember, you're worth the hard work.
Need more support? Lemme help you sis:
Digital resources to help you jumpstart and grow in your wellness journey
Group coaching for BIPOC women with monthly guidance & support from me and weekly teaching content to help you heal and grow
1-1 coaching tailored to your personal needs
Blog posts with tips and tricks to make your life easier
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